I have been meaning to write a post about dreams for a long while, but I kept procrastinating about it because it is a topic where I am not sure how exactly am I going to talk about it. And whenever I have time to sit down and blog, there will sure be something else that I could blog about that I end up writing lots of miscellaneous things about my daily life.
And then on occasions when I have the time, I will be doing stupid things to attract boyfriend's attention or maybe watch some running man and play some games or whatever not. zzz. So at the end of the day I never really get around to doing it. Besides, every now and then I always wake up from my sleep to have a new revelation on dreaming so my thoughts build upon itself where it gets more complicated as the day passes by. Like a snowball effect, or something like that.
So today I actually got around to writing about dreams because I had a big dream this afternoon and when I woke up I burst into tears. T_T
To be honest, I dream everyday.
I am not sure if everyone of you dream everyday like I do. My mum complains that she dreams everyday and she hates it - its like she's having a mental marathon every night despite having a long day at work. Although the dream may seem very short, like trying to drive a car but you crashed it in into a pillar instead (I have been dreaming of this lately wtf), hours have already passed! And the next thing you knew it would be your alarm going off.
However I also know that some people do not really dream as much. My boyfriend hardly dreams and so far I have only heard him telling me that he dreams only once every few months. Why like that one???
So I went to google about it some time back then and found out that actually everybody dreams. Every night. Just that for some people, once they are awake the dream is forgetten! And while some people dislike dreaming..
I actually love to dream. Here are some of reasons why:
- You dream of travelling to other countries.
It's like going on a one-night travel without having a need to take long hours flight or transport and jet-lag hahaha. I once dreamt of going to exotic places like a mini hut in the middle of the big sea (very similar to maldives wtf), walking along Italy streets with colorful buildings and endless shopping at many locations. I even dreamt of being kidnapped while travelling and my kidnapper was very nice and even brought me to go shopping hahahahhaa. #ultimatelife - You dream of different situations
I would always ask myself questions like what would I do if certain situations or happenings that I do not wish to happen occurred to me. I would fail to arrive at any answer after hours of self-questioning but I got my answer after I experienced a same situation in my dreams. And the best part is that no matter what decision you have made, it comes with no consequences.
- You dream of a life you could never afford
Like staying in lush places like a hotel room on a top floor of a high rise shopping building. Or maybe in a big house with basement and pretty furnitures, or even in a house which my mother's new half (hahahahaha) bought for us to stay in. There was a ladder in my room where it happens to be a swimming pool and poolside bar right above my bedroom that comes with a complete sea view with purple skies hahahaha. #ultimatelife - There are always certain places / locations that you dream to be at
It's like staying in another hometown, whereby after some time you will instinctively know what is available down the street if you turn left, or what shops are located at which level of the shopping centre. Or maybe another school compound you always dream to be at where you even know where is the auditorium centre, canteen and lifts located at. - You get the déjà vu feeling
when you walk past somewhere in reality or maybe during a simple conversation with your friend. You get the feeling that the same thing had actually happened before where you even know what will happens next! Not sure if it is good or bad because sometimes it spooks me. But I shall also attribute it to my dreams that maybe I might have dreamt of it before hahaha.
Aiya but there are also times when I dream of meat-eating zombies chasing after me or me staying in a zombie infested town running and hiding away from zombies. Mother of God why does my bad dreams always involves around zombies. T_T Another reminder for me not to watch movies like silent hill.
And also, not to forget dreaming of breaking up with your other half.
Which brings me to the topic of why I finally got around to writing this topic today. I had a dream that seemed so realistic.
I dreamt that my boyfriend wanted to dump me for no reason.
The reason why I said it was very realistic because I could clearly see the faces of people who appeared in my dream in familiar places. Usually when I dream of people I could never really see / make out their face to see how they look like. Or maybe on occasions when I dream watching this girl doing something and suddenly I am that person herself. Haiya very complicated and confusing wan.
But not this afternoon. I dreamt that boyfriend made friends with a new clique of friends - which in my opinion are bad company. And suddenly out of no where he started to playing the silent game, him not replying my messages or taking my calls and I have no idea where or what he was doing. So I drove his car (LOL) around in hope to find him and eventually found him with his group of friends at this multi storey carpark halfway while I was making my way up the slope. So I quickly got off his car while parking on the slope and worried momentarily if his car was going to roll back down because I have no idea if I pulled the handbrake LOL.
So when I found boyfriend he actually told me to get lost and said nasty things like why am I there and all that. And initiated a break up in front of all his newly made friends who were all clad in black acting cool. T_T
That left me crying while I walked on the streets, sobbing even when I went to class in school. And all of a sudden this guy came up to me and consoled me, where he brought me to an indoor theatre where there was a troupe/choir/group of performers practicing their musical instruments chords. And instantly I recognized and remembered the exact scene whereby I had once dreamt before (omg I double-dreamed in my dream) and his face are always blurred. And during this dream I saw his face clearly! And he went to join the troupe/choir/group and started singing some songs to cheer me up wtf hahaha.
So in my mind I kept wondering if this is my Mr-Right because in fairytales and storybooks the person they always dreamed of (but couldn't see their face) is their Mr-Right hahahah. But aiya I was still very sad even after that.
And all of a sudden I am at boyfriend's house thinking if I should pack up my things. And then I realised that suddenly his house changed quite a bit. His toilet no longer have a toilet bowl (LOL) and its undergoing renovations. So I went downstairs to find his ah ma wanting to chat with her before I left and that is when boyfriend just came back home.
He saw me on the staircase and I remembered the usual expression that he had when he always reached home. But all of a sudden his expression changed and asked me in a very irritated and annoyed tone asking why am I still there and why haven't I left. I self-deluded myself into thinking that he must have a secret behind the sudden change in his attitude and behavior towards me and I kept asking and begging him to tell me wtf T_T
And the next moment I was awake and I saw boyfriend in my room using the comp! Called him over and pinched his face a bit to see if he's real where I am subsequently consumed by happiness and sadness at the same time that I burst into tears.
Thank god it was only a dream. And it made me realise how much I love him
I always thought that such dreams might be a bad omen or all that T_T But having read HollyJean's recent article "dreaming of breaking up" had put my mind to much ease where such dreams are only a signifier for completing something! Maybe it's because I have finished the part time job which I had been stressing about recently and I've just completed making my chicken shepherd pie this afternoon.
